“When you cannot find a single aspect within yourself, worth admiring, you find something among your deeds that’s unique. That’s the reflection of your soul and it’s Beautiful. “
Growing up- each day, each moment is a huge process, larger than our imagination. It starts right from the moment of your birth and ends at your last breath. In between, everything is unknown, and many things are there to know- to learn. The biggest mystery to be unfolded, surprisingly, are the complexities of one’s own thinking process. Who knows what we do next? Thus we grow out of the blurness of the idea we have about ourself in the slowest but the most steady way, and a brand new person takes our place eventually. One fine day, a thought strikes about the past and we finally realize, we are nomore that person. The soul remains the same, the spirits get enhanced.
I was a shy kid from the very beginning. When I got introduced to the word or rather label ‘introvert’, it was more of looking down upon people who were of the category and were associated with words like unsocial and timid. The question that rose in my mind was, “Am I an introvert? If yes, am I one of ‘them’ who cannot fit into the regular norms? ” Well it was confusing to decide; all the more because I never behaved like one in front of the people of my comfort.
This led me to the searching of a new title for myself and the term ‘extrovert’ was found. I was happy, now that I was more fitting for people’s concerns. The child-me had grown and now I had a bigger circle of people and being an extrovert helped myself to become more popular. It was at a party that I heard a woman, typically Indian, talking about a person who was himself the sole cause of all his misfortunes. He was too bold, uncompromising- he was an extrovert. I didn’t want to be like one, after coming terms with the side effects of being an extrovert. So what was I as person? What was my title? An introvert outside, an extrovert outside. Was I a chameleon? Camouflaging my behaviours to cope with the surroundings? But chameleon was also a negative word used for villanous beings. So was I bad altogether? No. I was a child and was confused to decide which label to stick to myself to be like ‘ideal’ adults who I thought had their thoughts together.
Now when I look back, I can only thank those moments when I was super confused about my personality because they are the ones which shaped up my thinking capabilities to know broader, to percieve wider, beyond tags and labels.
I have seen, I have lived, I have experienced, felt and known a world of stuffs but I cannot have enough of them. All my ups, all my downs, all my moderates have been beautiful and like all other adventure-hungry hearts out there, I want a long life to absorb every bit of the elixir I have- my Life. Outgrowing of past things is a nostalgic phenomenon but a satisfying one, once you come in terms with your true self because no one loves you more than you. No one needs labels to define oneself; deeds are enough, nevertheless, adjectives are also required for a good build up. In my opinion, taglining and labelling things with ‘superb’, ‘crazy’, ‘awesome’ is a mider version of trivialising energies put into establishing them. Thus, a better option is to know the stories-everything has one- and comprehending them.
When I need to tell people my story, of which I am the protagonist, I do have a word to define me rather comprehend me. I am an Ambivert- well without the essence of labels.